One For You, One for me...
Two Grateful Grandfathers Share the Bond of Living Kidney Donation
Two months ago, inspired by the loss of loved ones to kidney disease, Dave Baughn donated a kidney to a stranger. In this heartfelt story, Dave shares his journey to become a living donor and the emotional moment he met his recipient – a man who was able to experience being a grandfather thanks to Dave’s gift.
A few weeks before my son was born in 1996, I lost my father to End-Stage Renal Disease. He never met his youngest grandson. Years later, my wife’s childhood friend and Maid of Honor in our 1981 wedding died after years on a waiting list for a deceased donor kidney. As a rare blood-type “O” recipient, Sandy’s chances were limited, and she never got the call that a kidney that might save her life had become available.
This is why I was so interested when I heard a radio interview on NPR with Dr. Joshua Mezrich, a surgeon from Madison, WI, about his book “When Death Becomes Life: Notes from a Transplant Surgeon.” Dr. Mezrich described the miracle of organ transplantation and how lives can be saved through the gift of organ donation, both living and deceased. I purchased the book, which was a fascinating combination of chapters devoted to the history and development of organ transplantation, along with cases highlighting the human side. He described the wonder of seeing a kidney from a living donor begin working immediately upon being transplanted into its new owner. He advised that it’s possible to donate a kidney to someone in need and live a perfectly normal life afterward, which was very compelling to me. Someone’s life can be saved by donating one healthy kidney, with the remaining kidney taking over the function of the one now making urine for its new owner! One for you, one for me…sounds pretty reasonable.
After finishing the book, I knew I needed to do this. I discussed it with my wife Veronica, saying that it might have saved Sandy’s life if it had been available to her. The opportunity to participate in this miracle that Dr. Mezrich described became an obsession, although the timing was not ideal. Our family had just begun caring for my Father-in-Law following a stroke while the world focused on dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic.
Following my Father-in-Law’s passing in 2023 and post-pandemic, I was able to revisit my dream of donating a kidney. In February 2024, I contacted Dr. Mezrich by e-mail, advising that his book had inspired me to become a living donor, and asked for guidance as to how I might best proceed. He responded immediately, recommending the National Kidney Registry (NKR). In March, I began the NKR registration process. When I told Veronica that I was actively pursuing donation, she had some reservations, but she supported me, knowing I was committed to this.
I completed initial blood and urine tests at a local lab to ensure good general health and kidney function, and a mentor from the National Kidney Donation Organization (NKDO) contacted me. Mentor Debi had donated a kidney to her father years before and was there to support and guide me through the donation process.
I selected Hackensack University Medical Center as the location where I would be evaluated and donate. I made an early April appointment for a battery of tests there. Upon arriving at the hospital, I met the transplant team and had a CT scan, EKG, blood work, medical evaluation, and psychological interview. The final hurdle was an updated colonoscopy; with that screening complete, I was cleared to donate!
I was asked to provide a three-week window where I would be available for surgery and chose September 9-27, 2024. A few weeks later, Katie, the Transplant Coordinator, called to advise they had matched a recipient and confirmed September 10 for surgery. My kidney would be donated in Hackensack, and transported to the hospital where the recipient would have their transplant.
Two weeks before my scheduled date, I returned to the hospital for some pre-surgical tests and met with Dr. Sultan, who would remove my kidney. I told him about being inspired by Dr. Mezrich and his book. He smiled, advising that although he didn’t know him personally, he had heard him speak. The procedure would be performed laparoscopically, using two small incisions. He told me to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 AM on September 10 for the three to four-hour donation surgery at 7:30 AM.
We arrived at the hospital while it was still dark and started the preparations for surgery. When the time came to go to the operating room, I don’t know if I was already receiving a sedative through the IV, but I felt happy that I was finally getting the chance to be part of this miracle. Entering the operating room, there were bright glaring lights, and a group of people in green scrubs engaged in conversation, some laughter, and talking about what kind of day lay ahead for them – business as usual. I remember being transferred from the stretcher to the operating table, following instructions to get into the required position, and then, nothing…
I don’t recall much about the trip up to the 7th floor, but after arriving in my room, Dr. Serur, the surgeon in charge of the Transplant Team, came to speak with us. Although I was still muddled from the anesthesia, I understood that my kidney had been transported to a hospital in Manhattan where it was to be transplanted, but for some reason, the surgeon there had rejected it for his patient. My kidney was returned to Hackensack, where the team was finding the best match from their waiting list of patients who needed this (newly available!) organ.
Later that evening, Dahlia, a Transplant Coordinator who works with Katie, stopped by my room. I told her that I was aware of the change in the original plan and asked if she could tell me if they had found a suitable recipient for my kidney. She smiled and said, “Yes, it was truly someone’s lucky day today!” I became somewhat emotional and asked if he was going to be OK. She smiled and said he was doing fine with his new kidney. She assured me that things happen for a reason and that this guy had really hit the jackpot!
When Veronica visited, I told her the good news, and she asked if I knew anything about the recipient. I told her no, and it really didn’t matter to me who got the kidney. I’d only hope it might be someone who otherwise would not have the opportunity to become a grandfather, which has been one of the great joys of my life.
The nurses on the floor were wonderful, and I was up walking the halls the first day, enjoying the views of Manhattan across the river. I was scheduled to go home the 2nd day after surgery and got a visit from Dr. Serur that morning. He advised that my recipient was interested in meeting his donor, which is permissible if both parties agree. I was thrilled, and at 1:00 PM, Dr. Serur and several transplant team members came to my room and walked me down the hall to meet my new “brother from another mother”!
Seeing the smile on Pawan’s face when we converged on his room was priceless! It was very emotional, and even with a language barrier, it was clear that we were now family. His son Vik arrived a few minutes later, saying that he had rushed to the hospital when he learned that we would be meeting and that his wife and baby boy were still in the car downstairs – Pawan had just become a grandfather! Vik told me that it was a miracle, as his Dad had been on dialysis and a deceased donor waiting list for three and one-half years. He hadn’t been doing well and was having trouble keeping food down. Pawan’s daughter in California was expecting her first child in November, and they hoped he could hang on to meet his second grandchild. Veronica hugged me and said, “looks like you got your wish!”
I returned home with minimal discomfort and returned to work in front of my computer on the third day after surgery. Now, almost two months later, it’s like it never happened. I don’t feel any different, other than being extremely happy for having this chance to help make a difference. Vik recently texted a beautiful picture of his family on an outing in New York, which could not have happened without the miracle that took place on September 10. If I had another kidney to give, I would do it again tomorrow. I also encourage others to consider doing the same.
For now, two grateful Grandpa’s are in the world, each with one good kidney. One for you, and one for me…
Dave Baughn